Monday, March 28, 2011
Our Trial...
Our second trial on Strattera has been unsuccessful once again... (((3))) doses 72 hours... and his Liver Enzymes are about five times what they were on Friday. I am very upset and disheartened!! The emotional issues are wearing me thin and their is NO answers in site.
I am exhausted!! I don't know how to balance it ALL anymore. I am trying so hard to find a place where he will fit in September a place where he will thrive! I know I will NEVER find "The Perfect" place but my goal is to find as close to it as possible. Although I have come to the conclusion that I must give up "the ideal that I had hoped for" and accept the hurdles that seem to be before us.
I lay awake at night thinking..... what if this, then that... and what if that, then this... Honestly, in my mind I know that the odds are stacked against us as far as his health is concerned. But in my heart I wanna believe we will beat the odds. So, if his health holds out... we need a good education. If we get a good education and his health doesn't hold out... what have I wasted time on?? I don't know how to balance it all lately!!! All I know is this, I am putting endless amounts of time trying to figure out the best plan and I feel as though I am getting NO WHERE!!!
Their are NO answers, No one to help, No one who can fully understand the complexity of it all!! I read other transplant kids web sites and think to myself, "YOU HAVE NERVE COMPLAINING"!!! It's in reading these sites that I wonder, what is REALLY important... life can change in a minute!!! How can I accept this... how can I learn to take everyday as it comes??
Please continue to PRAY for Ashley & Eme... these two little sweet girls are fighting for their precious lifes!! Please pray for their parents & siblings as they go through this VERY difficult time!!
I am exhausted!! I don't know how to balance it ALL anymore. I am trying so hard to find a place where he will fit in September a place where he will thrive! I know I will NEVER find "The Perfect" place but my goal is to find as close to it as possible. Although I have come to the conclusion that I must give up "the ideal that I had hoped for" and accept the hurdles that seem to be before us.
I lay awake at night thinking..... what if this, then that... and what if that, then this... Honestly, in my mind I know that the odds are stacked against us as far as his health is concerned. But in my heart I wanna believe we will beat the odds. So, if his health holds out... we need a good education. If we get a good education and his health doesn't hold out... what have I wasted time on?? I don't know how to balance it all lately!!! All I know is this, I am putting endless amounts of time trying to figure out the best plan and I feel as though I am getting NO WHERE!!!
Their are NO answers, No one to help, No one who can fully understand the complexity of it all!! I read other transplant kids web sites and think to myself, "YOU HAVE NERVE COMPLAINING"!!! It's in reading these sites that I wonder, what is REALLY important... life can change in a minute!!! How can I accept this... how can I learn to take everyday as it comes??
Please continue to PRAY for Ashley & Eme... these two little sweet girls are fighting for their precious lifes!! Please pray for their parents & siblings as they go through this VERY difficult time!!
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2 comments:
All any of us have is right now. Be content with the fact that you ARE in the right place at the right time and everything is how it should be. Easier said than done.
Don't ever compare your situation to others... what you are living is hard. It sucks. Plain & simple. There's no such thing as better or worse. It's all impossibly difficult. I hope & pray someone can find something to help sweet Devin.
Love & ((hugs))
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