I wasn't sure if I was going to blog this... probably to protect my own feelings.   But then decided if it could possibly help one child or parent then it was worth it..
As many of you know I am have been trying for approximately 15 months to work out some HUGE emotional issues Devin has been having.  These issues have stood in the way of various aspects of life, one major one being his ability to succeed academically.   We have seen numerous specialists... developmental doctors, psychologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, play therapist, therapy groups, and different therapy programs. The diagnosis was "severe ADHD"... Try though we may NUMEROUS medications, new ones, old ones, combinations, stimulants, and non-stimulants.  NOTHING worked!!!!!  He has had 3 complete evaluations in 15 months with each and every person telling me the same thing, "he has intelligence, he can clearly learn, the areas he is delayed is "lack of exposure not lack of ability".... BUT!!!... everybody who worked with him, evaluated him, came in contact with him said the exact same thing... "Their is definitely ADHD, he has intelligence,  BUT!!!"

After living day in and day out frustrated by a "MISERABLE" child.. who struggles everyday!!  I continued on my quest to try and find someone, somewhere who can help with the "BUT and the untreated ADHD" even though we were on enough medication to put a grown man to sleep (seriously).

I was finally able to track down a psychologist who specializes in ADHD and learning disabilities.  Unfortunately 2hrs and 45 minutes of a commute... I got to meet with him in May.  He had reviewed  ALL Devin's information.. medical, medications, & testing.  When I walked in he asked me to start at the being and explain everything!!  As I spoke I sensed I was walking myself into a bomb shell.. after him listening to me and us going over everything... here are a few statements he made.....

• You have been on 15 different ADHD meds and none have worked. Did you ever think of thinking outside the box... It might not be ADHD!!
• If you, yourself were on a seizure medication and you had increased the dose twice and you still had seizures.  Would you continue to increase the dose??  He is COMPLETELY over medicated on meds that don't work well together and can be causing some of his problems.
• EVERY evaluation you have starts with... I saw Devin McQueen in my office today.  He appears to have a flat affect, and appears sad.  The only emotion he clearly show is anger in relation to frustration, which occurs easily.  He is very anxious over mom leaving and takes a long time to settle for his age.  He asks repeatedly to see mom and where mom is.  (You get the idea)  His question was, did anyone find it concerning that a seven year old boy is sad with a flat affect?? Doesn't really fit the normal description of ADHD..
• He shuts down easily and fall asleep in unpleasant situations that he wants to avoid.. Again not consistent with ADHD
• 4 out of 6 medication that he takes for transplant can cause anxiety and depression..  Has that been looked at??
• Chronic illness and reoccurring trauma, play a massive role in kids emotional state..

Well, needless to say I left there sobbing!! Wanna talk about feeling as though you completely failed!!  I gave myself that night to be angry at everybody including myself and then I pulled myself together and moved on.  Unfortunately this mans office is way to far to go on a weekly basis.  :(  It was almost 6 hours round trip.

Where are we now... Back in April we had just started with a psychiatrist who unfortunately went out on maternity leave until the end of July.  So we were able to see the covering doctor who completely agreed!!!!  We stopped the ADHD meds and started him on a low dose of a mood stabilizer / anti-anxiety...  It's been 9 days... OMG !!!  new kid!! Laughing, happy, hyper, speaking clearly, sitting to do his work,  NO TANTRUMS.... Believe you me by far he is NOT perfect BUT their is a HUGE difference!! He is happy go lucky!!! and fun to be around!! 

I don't know how to end this or what to say...  My husband and I are both in the medical field and hearing the phrase.. "YOU HAVE ALLOWED HIM TO BE GROSSLY MISMANAGED FOR THE LAST 15 MONTHS"  was like driving a knife in my heart!!! How did we miss all this, how did we let this get so out of control,  HOW!!!!!!

Hopefully we are on the right track!! and God willing we will have a great summer and a successful school year come September!!!